Community 182

Community is a really, really funny show. Not Modern Family funny, but funny nonetheless. And Joel McHale's assholian-secret-heart-of-gold charm makes me weak at the knees. Anyway, Danny Pudi (one of the actors in Community) and Travis Barker (former Blink 182-er and current leader of the Doucheoisie) look a lot alike. They both have unspeakably long necks and thin faces. Please let the record show that I'd rather make out with the one on the left. Scratch that, I'd rather make out with their elegant animal counterpart, the giraffe.

Float like a Butterfly, Sting like Hugo Weaving

Hugo Weaving (V for Vendetta) and Sting look-a-like. Sigh, they'd look even more alike if Sting hadn't gotten all fancy and had a nose job which you can see here. BTW, if you wanna see Zach Galifianakis ask Natalie Portman about how she prepped for her role in V for Vendetta, watch this ep of Between Two Ferns.

The Fabulous Baker Bosoms

Amanda Seyfried is a certifiable smoke show and in her spread for this month's Esquire, her bosom-popping bodice practically set my computer aflame. So it's no surprise that she resembles fellow hottie, Michelle Pfeiffer.

When Irish Eyes are Slanty

So the only kind of Irish celebrity twin I can think of at the moment is my Dad and Liam Neeson. But they're not face twins, just accent twins. And seeing as this isn't "Accent Detective" (although if it was... I'd discuss how Portia de Rossi has entirely abandoned her Australian accent and now speaks "American" in real life. This compounded with the fact that Portia isn't even her real name, kinda makes you wonder what else she's faking... I bet she's not even a real blond!). Anyway, my second best St. Paddy's Day offering is this - me as an Irish baby and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Ta-daaaahhh! I mean, ta-dah-la-dee-dee-doo... where's me pot of gold? Happy St. Patrick's Day!

p.s. Despite the striking similarity, I am, in fact, female.

Smells like Mother Issues

On the left is Kurt Cobain's mother and on the right is his wife Courtney Love. Their close resemblance is off-putting.

Vampire Weekend at the Kennedy Compound

My friend thinks the lead singer of Vampire Weekend looks like a young Patrick Dempsey.

And although it's definitely better to resemble an 80s nerd turned medical hottie than a barely acquitted rapist, I still think he looks a little more like William Kennedy Smith. What do you think?

Webster's Schtick-tionary

If you don't already watch Modern Family, you should start. It is hilarious ("Casablanca!"). One of the best characters on the show is Ed Bundy's step-son, Manny. And one of his best characteristics is that he's twins with Webster. And not just because they both buy their shirts from "Short & Squat", or get their hair cut at "Short & Jheri-Curly" or buy their ears from "Trophy Handles R Us".

Jason v. Jason

Someone pointed out that Jason Reitman (director of Juno and Up in the Air) looks like a middle-aged lesbian, but I think he looks more like Jason Lee. Although I wouldn't say the two are exactly mutually exclusive. And BTW - thanks a lot Jason Reitman for screwing up my Oscar ballot and losing Best Adapted Screenplay to Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire. Maybe if you'd called the movie - Up in the Air: Based on the Novel "Up in the Air" by Walter Kirn it would've won.

And talk about the most boring Academy Awards ever!!! I had to take part in an impromptu post-Oscars dance party just to feel human again. And so I blame you, Sandra Bullock, for my 2 day hangover. And you, Gabourey Sidibe, for the giant burrito I ate today.

Sartorialist Twin: Jonathan Quayle Higgins III

Ever wonder what Higgins has been doing since Magnum, P.I. wrapped in 1988 (other than constantly muttering to himself: "Oh, my God, Magnum!" and guest starring on Murder She Wrote)? Well stop wondering! Because he's clearly been maintaining his dignified moustache and roaming the streets of NYC like his Sartorialist twin on the right.

Brooklyn Decker, I got your number!

Okay, before the cat scratch noises come out, let me just say that I think Brooklyn Decker looks unbelievably hot on the cover of this year's SI: Swimsuit edition. I love her "who, me?" and "what? oh, this bikini top?" pose. But sistah don't look like that all the time. Mostly Brooklyn looks Playboy cheezy (and yes, that's a bad thing). She certainly holds no candle to true knockout beauty and last year's cover-girl, Bar Refaeli. Because that girl makes cartoon steam come out my ears. Instead, Brooklyn looks a whole lot like that chick on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (on the right). Who is funny, but fake hot, like that other chick on The Big Bang Theory. You heard me, FAKE HOT! Okay, now it's time for the cat noises...

We Didn't Start the Face Fire...

Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnny Ray

South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television

North Korea, South Korea, Lenny Briscoe

Law & Order's beloved Lenny Briscoe and NY Yankee's beloved Joe DiMaggio are cut from the same cloth. Too bad for Lenny, Marilyn's candle burned out long before he got the chance to impersonate DiMaggio and jump into bed with her. Oh well, I guess there's always the chance of a heavenly threesome... now that's what I call a "pinch hitter"!!!!!*

*excessive punctuation indicates that yes, I know it's a lame "Dad Joke".

Olympic Face Fever

On Saturday night I watched the Men's Curling Finals and the only things more distracting than the Norwegian's pants were the startling face similarities between Thomas "Hubba Hubba" Ulsrud and former pretty boy Melrose 1.0 star, Patrick Muldoon.