The Shining: Take 2... Make that Take 3

Apparently Stephen King is writing a sequel to The Shining. I really, really hope he includes a part for Shelley Duvall because something tells me she won't be reprising her role as Olive Oyl in Popeye 2. Anyhow, below is the original cover of the book. Thanks to Courtney's eagle eyes and keen sense of smell, she was able to recast the book cover with the following stars - Sarah Polley, John "Yes I look a lot like The Fonz and Warren Beatty" Shea and the child genius from Little Man Tate. The jury's still out on who will get to play the angry ghost lion to the left of the kid. Suggestions welcome. 

Skin Graf

Sports isn't exactly my forte, unless we're talking about the Huey Lewis and the News album (Haaaaaaaaa... nerd). But when I saw a pic of basketball star Robert Swift, I knew instantly that he was twins with tennis phenom (and Andre Agassi baby factory), Steffi Graff. 

When I was little, I watched a lot of tennis and always felt sorry for Steffi because I thought she wasn't nearly as pretty as Chris Evert or Jennifer Capriati (hey, this was before you had to be hot to play tennis - have you seen pics of Ana Ivanovic, Dominika Cibulkova, and Marta Domachowska? Holy hell!). But now I think Steffi is quite a handsome woman, not to mention the person who was able to separate Agassi from that hideous wig and meth addiction. 

Ghosts of Matthew McConaughey's Once Promising Past

For those of you who had the misfortune of seeing Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (why does Matthew McConaughey insist on "whistle-talking"?!), you'll know that Emma Stone (the young actress on the right) was the only thing even remotely funny about the whole movie. What's even funnier is that Emma is a dead (HA! Get it? She's a ghost...) ringer for meddling mother,Julie Cooper, from the O.C. 

Speaking of unspeakably bad movies. The reviews for the Robin Williams/John Travolta flick Old Dogs ("from the people who brought you Wild Hogs..." uh-oh) are out and they are pretty funny: "Old Dogs does to the screen what old dogs do to the carpet. It's unfortunate that only the latter can be taken out and shot." 

Basically, if you like dudes getting hit in the crotch/face/bum and children accidentally ingesting Viagra, you're in for a real treat. 

The Sartorialist: Phoenix from the Fire

Before Joaquin Phoenix went all faux-crazy, he was kinda awesome. I once saw him steal an entire cup of cigarettes from a party and stuff them in his pocket. Like I said, kinda awesome. Anyhow, if Joaquin and The Office's Gareth "Will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark?" Kenan had a baby, it'd be this guy featured in The Sartorialist. 

=

Cad Men

Hello I'm a PC. And I'm a Sneaky Little Weasel Who Preys Upon Homely Co-Workers and Foreign Nannies. 

Yeah, I know Mad Men's Pete Campbell is better looking than the PC Guy, but they both have moon faces and matching haircuts and are therefore Twinsies.  

X-Women Twinsies

For the record, I think Julianna Margulies is a very pretty woman. But she is NOT Famke Janssen pretty, so these promo posters for The Good Wife seem a little photoshopped.  

        Juliana Marguiles                     Famke Janssen                     

Mad Twins

I was watching Mad Men last week and was really impressed with how well Charles Grodin has held up over the years. Then I started doing the math and realized that he made Beethoven (Best. Dog Movie. Ever.) back in 1992 and instantly became suspicious. Turns out, the guy who plays "Duck Phillips" on Mad Men is actually Mark Moses and not Charles Grodin. And yes, there is a whopping 23 years age difference between the two. Sorry Mark Moses. 

(Left: Mark Moses)               (Right: Charles Grodin)