He Ain't Albert Ingalls, He's my Brother

I'm a giant fan of Little House on the Prairie (remember the awesome episode when that crazy lady kidnaps Laura and stashes her in the root cellar?) but a little bit of the Little House experience was cheapened for me on Thursday when I attended the opening of Little House: The Musical. Melissa Gilbert (TV Laura) played "Ma" (if Ma starred in the movie Fargo). And if you've ever thought to yourself - hey, I wonder if Melissa Gilbert can sing? The answer is: NO!

Anyway, I left at intermission and so I don't know if Albert Ingalls shows up in the 2nd act, but I do know that he looks a lot like my brother in 1980. Although my brother has never accidentally set fire to a school for the blind (as far as I know), or pretended to be blind, ordeveloped an addiction to morphine. He is, however, sporting a chapeau befitting the 1880s.

Fun Fact: The second most fun thing about Thursday night was discovering that Melissa Gilbert's son (dad is Bruce Boxleitner of Scarecrow and Mrs. King fame) plays Willy Olsen in the musical. The most fun thing? Snickering in my seat as the actors simulated an especially bumpy prairie ride atop a makeshift wagon. Because... well, because it looked like they were having sex. There, I said it.

Oh, Brother Complex

Clint Howard is Ron Howard's less famous, more freakish, younger brother. It always warms the cockles of my heart to see him in movies - especially movies that aren't directly related to Ron. Anyhow, he looks A LOT like Garth Brooks. Suprisingly, he looks nothing like Garth Brooks' alter ego, Chris Gaines. Remember that guy? Wow, that was weird. I think it was just an excuse for the country singer to get away with wearing a wig. And to look more like Cris Angel (more on this similarity later). 

Dax-Attax

I always took Dax Shepard for a douche bag (could have something to do his stupid name or his association with Jessica Simpson or this pic or his goofy mug or his silly hats or those shirtless photos of him parading around with Kate Hudson...). But I recently saw him on Conan and he was really funny and quite charming. But he's still got the goofy mug and that's why he's twins with king douche Zach Braff.

Pride and Extreme Prejudice

Whoever thinks Muammar al-Gaddafi and Colin Firth have nothing in common must be blind (perhaps even blinded by the tyrannical ruler himself). The leader of Libya and the leading man share the same roguish hair-do and squinty eyes. And just like Firth, Gaddafi can speak for the entire length of a feature film (as proven by his hour and thirty six minute speech to the UN General Assembly). 

Breed the World

So, Kate Gosselin recently dropped $7000 on her fancy new hair extensions. But what's the point when you stuff them under a jaunty cap and walk around wearing no makeup? Well, if the point is to become Sir Bob Geldof's twin then mission accomplished. And not in the George Bush kind of way, because Kate actually accomplished her mission to look exactly like the Boomtown Rats frontman. Three cheers for Kate Gosselin, winner of the Avery.