The Real Mouse-Wives of New York City

Ramona Singer (below) is one of the stars of the Real Housewives of New York City and she done got the crazy eyes. She's also a cross between Kathie Lee and Britney. So there's plenty of crazy to spread around. 

Aaaaaand she has a total mouse face. 

Re-Cast: The Facts of Life

The Facts of Life was a great show with a fab theme song. I re-cast "Jo" a few posts ago and now here are the rest of my picks. 

 

Before there was Blair Waldorf, there was Blair Warner - a spoiled New York princess who was jealous of her standup "comedian" cousin, Geri, ("I'm not drunk, I just have cerebral palsy!" Awww). Anyhoo, Blair looks like Miss Piggy. 

Oh, Tootie. When you weren't rollerskating around, you were filling bongs with Jelly Beans, modeling for child pornographists, and getting lured into child prostitution. Tootie and Pearl from 227 have matching hair cuts. Pearl was also no stranger to trouble - filling bongs with lace doilies and getting mixed up with old lady pornographists... 

Before Cloris Leachman shook her 82-year-old wares on Dancing with the Stars, she played Mrs. Garrett's sassy sister, Beverly Ann, who took over "Edna's Edibles" when Mrs. G ran off to Africa to join the Peace Corps (for realsies). And it just so happens that Barry Manilow looks a lot like Cloris Leachman (and a mouse, for that matter). 

Mama Mia! It's a Mouse Face!

Known in some circles as the Rolls Royce of Mouse Faces, Christine Baranski is undoubtedly Queen of the Mus Musculus.

And if demand for middle-aged, alcoholic, WASPy sidekicks ever dries up, Christine can head straight to Disney World and take her rightful place alongside Mickey.  

That's right Minnie, laugh it up while you still can - your days are numbered...

Curb Your Enthusiastic Mouse Face

Squeek squeek Cheryl Hines. Don't play innocent with us. 

Zac Efron King of the World

Dear Zac Efron - I love you. But so do a million other tweens and cougars - so I'll settle for admiring you from afar. However, I do not love your face twin, Kevin Zegers (Transamerica, The Jane Austen Book Club).

Shocking, isn't it? These pics really make a mockery of any Chace Crawford/Efron comparisons. But you see, Kevin doesn't always look like this. And when he's not impersonating Zac Efron, he's parading around as a living, breathing "Mouse Face" (see below).

They walk amongst us...

Here's a Story, of an Ugly Mouse Face...

As I mentioned in an earlier post, a person with a "Mouse Face" has the most dreaded face of all. Miss Bianca from The Rescuers is of course the original "Mouse Face" because she's an actual mouse. As for the rest of the bunch - I'd like to know what's their excuse ...

(A) Katrina "Mouse Droppings" Campins from the original Apprenctice.  

(B) Elizabeth "Pass the Cheese" Hasselbeck from The View.

(C)  Vicki "Who me? I'm just an old lady with a Mouse Face" Gunvalson from The Real Housewives of Orange County  

(D) Chrisstaffurrr "I actually have more of a Rat Face" Moltisanti from The Sopranos.  

Fumbling towards... Great Scot, Marty!

So I was watching Law & Order: SVU with Christopher Lloyd and I was struck by a DeLorean bolt of lightening. Doc Brown is twinsies with that creepy Amish kid from Witness (who is also a 'Mouse Face', but that's another post). And then came the natural pairing of fellow bug eyed celebs, Sarah McLachlan and Mary Louise Parker.  

Screeeeeech!!

It's a bird... It's a plane... It's Lo Bosworth's bird face!!!   

The shrewish Hills sidekick is a prime example of "Bird Face". Not as offensive as "Mouse Face", but a very close second. I hate to tar former SNLer, Rachel Dratch, with the same brush (feather?) - but when you've got a bird face, you've got a bird face. Hoot-Hoot. Squawk.